Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Being a young bisexual

Since I started reading up on bisexuality and getting involved with the online community, it was impossible not to become aware of the great history and legacy that led up to 14yr old me starting this blog in 2007, having realised and accepted my bisexuality seamlessly and without hassle. That would have been an unlikely scenario in the year I was born, 1992.

I have a lot to thank older bisexuals for. I know they aren't going to like that term, but 23yr old bisexuals are older bisexuals to me! So it's a large group and of the ones I've met, there don't seem to be many bisexuals who act 'old' anyway, so I use the term out of respect that many bisexuals have been working so hard for decades before I was even a twinkle in my mother's eye, and meant I could eventually tell said mother of my swerve away from the norm and not get thrown out the house immediately.

The stalwarts of the community and pioneers of our campaign for awareness, equality and respect amaze me when I look back at all they have done, and are still doing. The reason for this post is that I was struck by how young I am with only 7yrs involvement when I came across the Bisexual Manifesto. I clicked the link thinking "Oh my God, we have a manifesto??" As a stage manager, the sheer organisation alone was inspiring. And then I read it.

The 1990 Bisexual Manifesto
We are tired of being analyzed, defined and represented by people other than ourselves, or worse yet, not considered at all. We are frustrated by the imposed isolation and invisibility that comes from being told or expected to choose either a homosexual or heterosexual identity.

Monosexuality is a heterosexist dictate used to oppress homosexuals and to negate the validity of bisexuality.

Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone’s sexuality, including your own.
We are angered by those who refuse to accept our existence; our issues; our contributions; our alliances; our voice. It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard. - From the wealth of knowledge that is the Bialogue Tumblr (original attribution: the historic Bay Area Bisexual Network publication Anything That Moves)

And all my inspiration and pride deflated slightly, as I thought "24 years later, and not a lot has changed." However, the one thing that can be said as a positive over two decades later is our voices are being heard. There are more of us speaking, we're louder, we're in the White House for pity's sake, and whilst we're only inching our way to true change, we seem to have got somewhere. For example, my friends' responses to my intense Celebrate Bisexuality Day Facebook output, and my less intense but still visible Bi Awareness Week Facebook contributions, were all positive.

Sure we still have to make a lot of noise, A LOT, to finally be heard, but our strike rate seems to have gone up. So I stand behind this manifesto because it represents part of a wave that I am part of now when it is bigger and stronger than it was then.


  1. We are still shouting much the same shouts as when I got involved twenty-odd years ago, but we've started to build more powerful weapons to fight the fight with (and in the process some people who never thought our 'issues' were important or real have started switching sides) through things like building the research base, while the Bisexuality Report has been remarkable in how it has opened doors pressing for people in positions of power to take action.

    That said the things we were doing in 1984 and 1994 and 2004 are still hugely important, every so often I get blown away by the comments from people whose lives are changed in 2014 by the coming out / staying out spaces that turn bisexuality from "just me and maybe someone I read about in the paper" into "real people".

  2. i'm 22 yo a bisexual, I began to realize this in reply to 18 yrs of my life and I try to look back and it turned me realize that I love men and women. first I thought it was just a feeling of admired just for some women. but it is now i'm 22 yo I feel I need an women to distribute my sexual. my sexual tendency toward bisex stronger. and now I'm locked in the cultural, religious and family. they're normal family who can not accept the deviation will be same-sex attraction. and now I have a boyfriend who I believe is a sense of love and my love is only in my brain not in my heart. I think this is a love that just demands of the role of the family only. for me the woman deserves to be in love and never to hurt. because they are so beautiful:)